so whisper gently in his ear that “after this your prostate will experience the equivalent of severe rug burns” and let him know that “i’m gonna twist your ball strings up so tight that they will tear off and require surgical reattachment”
HAVE A FUN TIME
make sure you let them know that “after tonight you won’t sit straight for weeks”, and that you’re going to “make it so that the tubes in your vagina go into all the wrong places”
i was scared for a second, because i’ve accepted that these will be the last words i hear before i am murdered and thrown into a shallow roadside grave
but it turns out he wasn’t murdering me he was a nice young man
follow his blog http://chineseripoff.tumblr.com/